27

Last year, I posted 27 blog entries. I wrote a few more than that, but decided they didn't need to live anywhere public.

Today is the last day of January, and this is my 27th blog entry for 2012.

My intention this month was to just try to produce, to DO something, anything. Too many days are passing where I can't point to anything tangible that I've accomplished, beyond clean dishes or laundry. This month was about just putting it out there, without over-thinking, or editing myself too much. To simply hit "post" even it I didn't have anything earth-shattering to share, to not worry about the judgements of others. It was about capturing some of the small moments that get lost all too easily.

I didn't have a number in mind when I started, nor any real goal other than "DO!" Last week I happened to see the number of posts of last year and I decided I wanted to meet or exceed that number for this year. Such a small, silly goal, but when you are in the middle of a windstorm or uncertainty about your life and career, it can help to grab on to the tiniest branch, some small goal to achieve.

Right now the optimism of two weeks ago has waned. I had two great interviews... and then nothing. No calls. It's like I can't get past a second date, even when I thought that they liked me. I've applied to more jobs since then, and even have a second interview today (for a job that I'm conflicted on, honestly), but I feel dejected. Even more insulting is that two of the resumes that I sent out last month to jobs that I am, without any type of doubt, qualified for; that were two national nonprofits that I have deep ties to, totally dissed me. Colleagues back in Florida called and emailed the local branches to recommend me. I thought- as did the nice people who went to that trouble for me- that I would at least get a foot in the door, an interview.

No.
Nothing.
One place never responded to the two follow-up calls and emails.

Did I mentioned that I have raised over $20,000 for one of the nonprofits? As a volunteer?

If I were unqualified, I would understand.
If they had an internal candidate, and sent a "thanks, but no thanks" email, I would be sad, but still understand.
But to be so unprofessional, so disrespectful to their other councils, to not even acknowledge my contacts...

Well, I won't be raising money for them again in any way.

It is very, very difficult to break into the cliques here.
It appears you either have to be:
Texan (preferably born in the state, but it looks like they will grant you clemency after about 5-10 years, if you are married to a native).
Rich.
Or, have friends or family who are rich Texans.

Stop my own company? Find a new career track? Start back at the bottom? Move?

Let's see what the next 27 days holds.