Hey There, Sexy Teeth!

Tooth satisfaction. I haz it.

When I was 16, and I had my first boyfriend, he gave me a colorful certificate for being "#1 Brusher."

He's now also a drag queen. This is in no way pertinent to the story, neither cause nor effect are implied, but I like to spice it up now and then some.

Anyway, I enjoy a high level of dental satisfaction. I brush like a fiend, and while I don't floss as much as I should, I have one of those tarter removing sticks and have great fun with it.

I use cheap brushes (they are now soft bristles, since my eager brushing has started to cause some gum recession. Damn, the recession is hitting EVERYWHERE!) and whatever toothpaste is on sale. I don't go to the dentist near as much as I should, due to the whole lack of insurance and money.

But I can hold my head up high in the dentist office. I don't have to slink out of it like a guilty fool, which is different from most medical visits (being built like a manatee and all).

Since we are sans insurance, I bought a Groupon- exams, cleaning, exam and whitening kit for $36! Whooohoo. I used it today and I could tell the dentist was disappointed that I wouldn't be giving him something to up-charge. In fact, he said he was jealous of my teeth.

It's the small victories. If only I could get people to call me back from all those resumes I sent out. I would show off my strong, hearty stock with these chompers. It may be hard to work into the conversation how smooth & clean my teeth feel.

Maybe I could just send my dental x-rays with my cover letters.

(These are not my teeth. But I found a way to tie back in the whole drag queen thing. You're welcome.)