Thursday, February 24, 2011

Let The Music Play

You know what? For now I have two more songs that capture where I am in life.

Okay- I think I've said what I need.

This is me not being a drama queen

So, all sorts of major life things are happening. Today, I said goodbye to a family member. Hopefully for only a few years, but it's a scary proposition where he's going and I can't escape the worry that each goodbye will be the last one. But I know that there are other people that this impacts just as much, so I stay stoic and try to project strength. But driving away, it hit me hard.
I'm going to need to cry sometime. Right now I have work to do, so I'm pushing it back. Maybe tonight I can find a quiet place and let it go.

Tomorrow, by 10 am, I am going to find out more information that will impact the future of my family. No, I'm not pregnant, thought I were that were it. It will, however, impact the chances of having another child. So, in all, this is an emotional 24 hours. I think I am dealing remarkably well. Staying busy helps, and I have plenty of work to do, so back to that I go. But the tension is right below the surface, like waiting for the gunshot to start a race. This song keeps playing in my mind- probably because I try to incorporate it too much into my life. But since this is the Muppet version, I love it even more because of the levity that it adds. Perfect for my life :)

Sadly, I was just reminded that emotionally, there's a reason for this need. I got the words, "I'm a little emotional right now," barely out of my mouth and a certain man just turned and ran away dramatically. Leaving me alone. Again. Emotional need met fail. *sigh*

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Moving Right Along

So, enough with the angsty stuff for now. I've got plenty more, but it's simply too sunny outside right now to do the gloom tango. My body has been doing odd things lately, and not in a "Wow, look, I can do the splits while hanging upside down" way. So, I'm soon to gather some good old fashioned vitamin D and try to soak up some good health.

Before I do, let's look at the some of the inside pics of the cool little place we found in Jacksonville that I detailed a few weeks ago.

Oh yes, this is the plate on which the gods eat their meals.
The Tom Selleck collectible plate.
I really, really wanted to purchase it and hide it in homes of friends and families.
Tom in the shower? Tom on your pillow? Tom in the freezer? Tom in your underwear drawer? Yes, yes, yes and YES!
But... no.
It commanded a price too high for me to pay.
The epic joy it promises will not be mine.
And yet, it compels you to behold the 'stache.


Done beholding? Good. Now it's time to go to the dark place in your soul...
*play doom music*
Welcome to the Doll Hospital, my pretties...
Come closer and see my headless wonders.
Random limbs? Of course, dear, help yourself.

Oh, I see you are eying my elusive Colonel Sanders Silver Peg-Leg Model.
As you can see from the picture, he is a little busy at the moment
grabbing a little action from the fuller-figured headless baby
(*note, no posing was utilized for this picture.
I just noticed Pervy Sanders copping a feel.
Dirty ole' chicken man.)

Seriously, I loved this place. The people were nice as could be and I sincerely love junking around in a big old barn. Oh, and how I loved those little cottages.
With so much to buy, I ended up with a few cute embroidered things, an adorable baby baptism dress, a stack of vintage magazines from when we were born, a really awesome gypsy lamp, and a comic book and strand of parade beads sweetly given to my little man. All for around $20. I *LOVEEEEEE* this place.

Here's the gypsy lamp that I need to find the perfect place for:
It's hard to see it's coolness in the pic, but it's solid metal and full of awesomeness. I bought in from "Ali Mama's." It was one of the little cottages that was filled to the brim with every kind of bauble you could imagine. This jem was hanging and I'm not sure she wanted to part with it. But I promised to love it as much as she did and to bring it back if I wanted to part with it. Ali Mama reminded me of my paternal grandmother, who I only got to know for the first six years of my life. She also ran in the flea market world and it's interesting how little nuggets from my childhood seem to pop up in those ways.

So, thanks for joining me on this little tour. And, uh, if you happen to stop by and read this, leave me a message, will ya? I know of only two certified readers, so if there are more of you lurking, let me know so I don't write about you ;)

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Where is the Balance?

Where is the place where you will do anything for the person you love and where you realize that it comes at too high a price? That what you are sacrificing may not even lead to the happiness you with for that person? When your anger and pain transform you into someone who is no longer able to give.

Something was broken three years ago. You can cover the break, try to make it heal. You can pretend it's not there and even hobble along. But it's there. And it never healed. And under what others see as smooth skin, you know the festering truth.