Monday, November 5, 2012


On Friday, the doorbell rang and I heard a delivery truck roll away.
I'll admit- my first hopeful thought was that a mysterious benefactor had decided to send some of the much needed baby items that we still haven't purchased.
Alas, instead it was a striking black and gold box from FTD and inside were beautiful pink roses and gerber daisies, along with a very sweet note from my husband.

Now, given out financial situation, he probably shouldn't have sent me flowers.
And I'm a practical sort of girl.

But still, I was really glad he did. And I made sure he was too.

He came home early and we spent the afternoon together, talking and bonding and crashing through some of the horrid tension that we have been living under.

And things are better. Not perfectly mended, but better. And the fog of tension and anger lifted so that I could remember some of the good things, like how much he helps with the housework and is an involved father. I've also felt more of a sense of peace and excitement about meeting my little girl.

Beautiful weather and a low key weekend kept the good times rolling for the last few days, even in the face of other challenges.

We found out on Saturday that hubby's brother P had a heart attack, and that has me worried on many fronts and struggling to find ways to be supportive. Hubby was originally the youngest (by far) of five siblings. Sadly, they all have pretty unstable and depressing lives. We have always been closest to his brother P, who is about about a dozen years older. P is the next most stable in the sibling line-up, staying mostly employed and in a long-term domestic partnership. He is free of addiction and has his wits about him. He doesn't live in opulence, but he and his partner have a very nice double-wide that is brimming with antiques and personality.

In terms of siblings, the closest one in age to my husband died a few years ago in a very tragic and depressing way, and hubby and his brother P were left to fly out to Austin and pick up the last vestiges of life and the remains of that brother. We had to help pay for his cremation, or he would have ended up in a "pauper's grave." While brother P is overweight and often sick, 49 is much too young to have a heart attack. Right now he remains in ICU in a hospital 14 hours away from us as doctors try to figure out what has made his heart stop twice.

There's not much we can do from here. Of course, I'm not sure how much we could do even in we were back in Cincy. I can pray for P and for his partner.

Beyond wanting a good result for him, I admit that I selfishly don't want my husband to go through the pain of losing another sibling, especially one he is so close to.
As my baby stirs inside of me, I know she is coming very soon. Perhaps she'll wait for nine days for her "scheduled time," but perhaps not... I want this time to be one of joy for my family, especially for a husband who has lost so many over the years.

1 comment:

  1. My heart goes out to you both. I know the feeling of helplessness when there's really nothing you can do because you're so far away. Prayers are always good.

    I'm glad the tension has lifted a bit. It would make me sad to think of your girl coming into the middle of such angst. Bad enough with the P situation hovering, but such close uneasiness isn't good. I wish sunshine and roses for you - and M has taken care of the roses part. So sunshine it is!