Thursday, January 17, 2013

If You Give A Mommy Some Coffee...

She's going to add peppermint mocha creamer.
And then she's going to have lots of energy and forget that she hasn't slept.
So she'll make some appointments and answer some emails.
Then she'll paint a decoration for the nursery.
But when she goes looking for the paint, she'll organize the cabinet.
Then she'll take out the trash.

And if the baby is sleeping,
Then she'll go on Pinterest,
And that's when she's really in trouble.

'Cause she'll decide to try and clean the microfiber couch with alcohol.
It will work pretty well, but then the cats will walk on it with dirty paws.
So she'll do it again.

Then she'll make homemade coconut milk.
And load the dishwasher.
And then grind some flax seed,
because she's feeling inventive with food.
But she'll have to use the dustbuster to clean the cabinet because the flax seed escaped.

And then the baby will wake up.
So she'll sit down with some water and feed her.
Maybe she'll turn on the tv and wonder when Jack McCoy became the DA on Law & Order.

When the baby goes back to sleep, the mommy will be feeling hungry,
so she'll make a strange mixture with the flax seed and other innocent ingredients,
'cause the fridge is bare and she's trying to eat healthier anyway.
Then she'll decide to make a freezer meal. And then another.

She'll want to take a walk, but it will look like it is about to storm,
so she decides to wait and check her email and facebook- real quick.
But the baby is awake again and so the mommy will feed her,
and read about inspirational people on the laptop while nursing.

When the baby seems full, she will play with her on the bed and sing her silly songs.
And then she will put the baby gym next to her and try to get her girl to work on her hand-eye coordination. The mommy will then start to type this, but soon the baby will be indignant at the gym and hungry again, so the mommy will finish and feed her again .

1 comment:

  1. How I remember those days. I seemed to be so eternally busy but getting so little done. And marveling at the "other" mommies who were apparently SuperWoman because they were living in clean houses and their babies never had snot running down their faces and they were working and working out and writing novels and it was all I could do to put on a pair of sweatpants that didn't have some sort of bodily fluid dried to it. As much as I loved my baby, I was not very good at being a contented new mommy.